alone, again? umm…

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own. Carol Burnett

Hey,

Yeah, I made myself change. I woke up early. Quiet early, at 6. Dad was surprised to see me up so early. I had made my mind to look more responsible. I never gave a fuck to what others think about me and will never ever do that. I will sleep when I want. I will do things I love, but at same time, I’ll be on time, I’ll be responsible. It’s my life and I want fucking all of ‘em.

For the first time, I took bike to gym, I was scared at first. A couple of mistakes done, overall enjoyable ride. Chest workout in gym. I feel that I shouldn’t take too long breaks. It’s not good that I am taking best quality protein and no workout. Getting to office was kind of difficult today. It was earlier than usual. There was a dramatic point while reading that ebook. It was another way to define personal success. Beginning with an end in mind. Damn, that funeral story literally shattered me. Imaging your loved one’s funeral and then you come to know that person is nothing but you! a deep shocker. How would you want others to think about you? And surprisingly, there were no thoughts related to money, success or anything like that. Just pure value based things. That’s what success is for me then. Amazing. Thank you!

I was in no mood to work. There was no work as such. Cs was super busy all the day. Our positions were interchanged. There used to be days when I was busy with projects and she used to read books. It’s happening with me now. I feel kind of irritated but this is golden opportunity for me. I wanted to eat cs’s tiffin. And today was the day. Girls were going out for lunch. I had no food with me, thanks to her; I saved the money and her food as well. Veggies were really great but I wonder how she manages to eat such fade food all the time. I am so grateful to her.

When I asked her that is she so busy that she doesn’t even have time to look at me, and then she sat for a quick chat. Lol. Evening, a meeting regarding next seminar at college. awesome! I’ll be going to my college after so long time. I know what to bring! My freaking amazing laptop, the wifi adapter and other amazing stuff to accompany me after so many months. I am so happy and grateful to get this opportunity! Cs wanted our involvement too in it. lol.

She made me wait till 9:25pm. Latest ever time recorded by us. By that time, i was playing angry birds on a projector screen. lol. That was a freaky amazing experience! Train journey, quick journey. Never got a spare moment to talk to her. I kind of felt alone. Alone, the way I am usually. This feeling wasn’t there since a long time. This afternoon, I don’t know why but the feeling suddenly grew stronger. Thank goodness cs was there at right moment for a chat. Sometimes I wonder if she really means it from the bottom of her heart or it’s just for show. Really, I never ever trusted anyone fully in my life. I want to trust her but some things just hold me back; I can’t fully trust even her even though I want to.

When at home, I was sleepy, but after getting my hands on fifa 13, I never wanted to sleep. It’s almost 4 am now and I still feel like mastering fifa 13. Actually, they fucked up the controls like last time. damn, it was freaking difficult to get acquainted with those controls and then again beat a team. Cs came online at 2. I wanted to talk to her but something held me back. I thought it wasn’t a good time. Anyways, even she didn’t start the chat. I don’t want any paradigm shit here. Let the facts be facts. Lol.

Off to bed now. I do what I love and I love what I do!

–rd

 

 

 

 

boredom

Easy reading is damn hard writing. Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hey,

They say early birds get cheese. But where? When? I got to office early. But hell, no one was there. I went to conference room and was facebooking there for some time. The project task I got yesterday was more complex than its simplicity to understand. I am eager to see what solutions the team lead finds. That would be a thing to learn and understand.

For the rest of the day, I was talking to cs, reading a complex code or browsing web. Two guys were promoted to managerial posts. One of them is our mentor. Happy for him. He knows how to handle his team very well and how to stand for them. Thank you very much sir. I don’t know why I went for that complex code thing. Now I am left with one and a half day and loads of eBook to be completed. I can’t feel the tension. I have been through such shit for numerous times and I know how to handle it. The Indiana jones style. Lol.

Dafuq, people in office are now addicted to tic tac toe. Cs started it; I followed with her and then the whole office. She has such a personality that everyone likes her. People management, the queen of people management. I wanted to leave early today so that I can sleep for more than 8 hours. Cs kept me waiting till 8.45. Argh, I stay late just for her. Otherwise I could have left at 6 to go to gym. Like the good old days. Her company is always fun. Sometimes she keeps talking about personal things. Lol. I used to ignore it in earlier days but now, as our friendship deepens, I like it.

When I got home, it was 10.15pm. By bus, it takes one and half hour. But with ipod, it’s not that much. Listening to music is the best way to pass time quickly. I checked gmail. Hell, a guy was all over me for designing a new logo. Damn, what about the logo on which I invested my Sunday? All new now. Finally sent 6-7 different varieties of logo. Have fun. cs was online once again. So late. She will feel sleepy tomorrow afternoon. Lol. 5 to 6 hours of sleep for me.

In Olympics, sad that mary kom lost the semis of boxing. 5 times world champ, mom of two and 29. Still winning bronze. Epic, just epic. I was expecting gold from her. I kind of cried in disappointment when she lost. Anyways, this looks like a good campaign for India this time.

Peace.

–rd

friday the 13th

One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you have always wanted. Do it now. – Paulo Coelho.

Hey,

Friday the 13^th. That creepy day appearing 3 times this year. I don’t know about superstition stuff but my day at work was super boring. It was like a motiveless day. When you have something to do but you don’t feel like doing it. Playing games, reading news, tweeting and what not. I tried bunch of things to get out of boredom.

Damn, I don’t like the two senior guys in our cabin. They both are freak. Look at me in such a manner that they have something against me. Thirsty for bloody revenge on me. Wtf. Fucking hell, I won’t mind shifting my place to where I was originally. The book we are made to read is so shitty. Here is how I would describe that. First they scare you, then they give you complex code, then they make you cry and then you quit! Perfect way to describe that book. I’ll shift to basics first. What kind of shitty author is that guy? He totally sucks at writing a book. Get a life dude.

A senior guy was leaving company today. So in lunch people were discussing the shit they were going to do. Food and then playing games. food was ok but games. what kind of games, I asked. The reply was epic. Cards or monopoly! Seriously? I’ll fucking go for a night out to fucking play that monopoly shit? Come on you gotta be kidding. I thought he would reply with playing Max Payne or Fifa on Xbox or something. Shit. Cs was in full mood about giving epic replies to the questions people were discussing. She is the life of lunch break discussions. Queen of good and funny times? May be.

Post lunch session, we sat together on same table. I needed to talk. That was getting uber boring. I like talking to her. May be so does she. She was playing romantic songs. Was that a cue for me? Because she behaves nicely to everyone. I can’t take things for granted with her. Also, she doesn’t share personal things with everyone. Lol. Plus point to me. I needed a break. Things are looking like they have hit a barrier. Our relationship is blooming but not at a great speed. I may be anticipating things too quickly. May be things go slow usually. But I know best will happen. Lol. Love is a slow poison, eh? I love this slow poison then. Take it easy mate. Best will happen. I believe it.

Damn, due to that fellow’s farewell program, I had to bunk the gym. And cs almost skipped her half the meal. He talks too much. Anyhow, cake was awesome. So creamy and chocolaty. Loved it. Me and cs left early. We met this office colleague on street. Trying to catch a taxi. But no luck. when cs saw it, she immediately tried to take a baggage from his hand and help him find a taxi. Gosh, I just looked in awe. How friendly and helpful can a person be? I was kind of proud of her. Hmm. Proud to have such awesome girl in my life.

I just wanted to watch some video tutorials after coming home. But YouTube ate up all of my time. no worries, tomorrow never dies. Yeah, good night! Best will happen!

–rd

Funny man

Easy reading is damn hard writing. Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hey,

After so many days finally the training session starts in office. Wtf, why they don’t do it regularly? Many people didn’t know about that session. Even cs was not knowing about it. When I saw her signing the attendance sheet, I asked her to get in the room. She was busy shifting the place to new cabin. Lol. Even I went to new place but with her.

She was more involved in me today. Don’t know what happens to her mood. It just swings to and fro. There is an event where we need to work in groups and present something. An idea related to TED. I sneaked behind the person who was creating those groups. And I and she were in same group. Sigh! A great relief. Even she wanted us to be in same group and she even publicly asked for that. I was in me gusta! condition. I can see jealous faces all around when people watch us together.

After the session, we went to our new place. She offered prayer before starting to work at the new place. Lol. That was kind of cute. One thing about cubicle that sucks is the glass between mine and her desk. Damn, it’s fitted with screw driver otherwise we would have removed it. Today’s task was reading from ebook. I kind of felt like it was a setback for me. Starting again with basics? Damn. But that will buy us some time together. Tension free and knowledgeable life in corporate sector. What could be better than this? Yes, to add something to it, company of cs. Now that makes situation perfect.

Most of the day, we were sitting on same desk and planning the schedule. And we started with it finally. I was in light mood today. I generally find myself in such situation with my pals ka, pr and ak. Cracking jokes and making the environment light. Cs couldn’t stop laughing on my jokes. Even I wondered if it was really my joke or my foolishness. Lol. The best part with her is trying to annoy her. She returns it with same effect. I tried sending an email on her behalf. And she held both my hands to try and stop me. That was fun. The purpose was not to annoy her but to hold her hand. Lol. I don’t know if even she thinks the same way as I do. Tell me girl. I want you to tell me about your feelings first. She was humming a romantic song after she held my hand. What was that about? Are we on right track? I want to get her in my life forever. It is going nice and smooth. Let it be a bit more passionate. More steamy kind of relationship. I want that. I invited her to my place this weekend but she took it as a joke and left. At least she got my cue. Hoping for the best.

In gym, I was thinking is this really me? Spending a month trying to learn new technology? I fucking need to go the college like speed. Don’t get things monotonous. Learn new technologies too. That’s what life is about. Great time in gym with school pal rb. He is my new gym mate along with sd. Damn, they both figured out somehow that I am in love. lol. Thank you for that feeling. thank you for this life. So much grateful for this.

–rd