I do not like to write – I like to have written. Gloria Steinem
Hey,
This dream is the strangest one. I was sent on a war. I was supposed to break into the houses of enemy and kill everyone. But when I went in, I found only ladies in there. I couldn’t even touch them. Killing them is a whole new thing, but I never even touched them. I kind of felt proud of myself. Strangely, the dream broke all of a sudden. I thought I just slept for 15 minutes. But it was 8 hours sleep. My mind was clear today. cs wasn’t on my mind. I had to think extra to get her in my mind. Lol.
It was reunion day. I knew after being apart for so many years, hardly anyone will turn out for the party. I went to gym first. I bunked it twice last week and I didn’t want to miss it even today. It was priority for the day. Empty gym and lots of free time. That’s why I like gymming on Sundays. Steam bath and shower was to follow. Sadly neither sd nor rb came today. I was all alone.
Came home, browsed facebook, prepared to go for reunion, had lunch and I was done. Left home at 4pm. Damn, the time for reunion was 2.30pm Indian standard time. lol. The program hasn’t been started when I arrived. 24 people joined. That was not even one fourth of the class. Missed the fun. We were together, really? We may have been together only physically. There was no more that same emotional bonding. But still I enjoyed a lot. The best thing for the day was that I danced my heart out. I wanted to do this in t’fest, I wanted to do this in college farewell, and I wanted to this on every rock band performance that I attended. But I did it today. I danced, I freaking danced with a group. It felt nice to unleash all that happiness and energy. Seriously, I have been missing all this fun throughout these years. I guess I have started liking dancing. Pizza and patise for snacks and a cocktail of coke and Fanta. Epic meal. Loved it. I liked meeting with friends, specially ok and sd. Am has been always my best friend in school. As always, I opened the gaming competition with a win. Won one lost one. my record continues. Danced three times while playing a board game. Only I know how silly and embarrassed I felt. But I own it. If someone enjoys watching it, my pleasure, sir! 7.30 was the deadline and it was to be followed strictly this time. A game has to be stopped abruptly. That was good in one sense because it was getting boring. Can’t forget how silly bt danced. I guess all we engineering nerds to it in same way. A big lol at him. I still feel it could have been better. But when was the last time I interacted with girls in my class so much? I loved it. I really like it. It should be twice a year or may be more than that. My school is not the same as it used to be. Enjoyed being innocent child again. This place makes me forget all worries and responsibilities. All I can see is boys and girls like me coming together to learn and be a good citizen. I missed my Sanskrit teacher and my school sweet heart. Both were not there. She is the main reason that I go to this reunion thing. Damn, where were you girl? After all this was over, everyone went to their own way. East and West no goodbyes, no emotional hugs? Was attending the reunion just a formality? eh? And girls, you have become fat. lol. To sum up things, I can dance, I love to dance, it could have been better but still it was epic as hell.
Am gave me a lift till halfway. Then I walked to home. Browsed Facebook. Cs was online. I just said hi to her. Before that I waited for long hoping that she will ping me. No, I couldn’t take anymore. When people reply so late I just hate it. It’s a turn off for me. I just went off saying good night. Sometimes I feel, this is not what I left college for. My quest was altogether different. And my current track is different. Mind says no, heart says yes. I want it both. No, what matters is what she thinks. Why I feel it’s just one way affair? Why she never calls me apart from work? I don’t want to be as a colleague of hers, I want to be her friend from college. At work, she cares about me, talks to me, supports me when someone goes against me. Why not outside then? I want her to be with me even at weekends and even during non-work days. Sometimes I think I am imposing myself on her. I can’t control her feelings but just can I get her to think the same way as I do? I can make this going for a long time but what is its use? It’s time to move into a new territory. It’s time to be together.
Thank you for this beautiful day. Thank you for reuniting me with my sweet childhood. Thank you for such an awesome girl in my life. I am grateful for all these things.
–rd
theuncensoredme 